he puts the penis in happiness.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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