he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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