Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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