yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize