Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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