I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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