We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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