I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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