would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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