yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize