i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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