some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize