It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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Green mimosas i think yes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
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I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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