Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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