I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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