I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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