I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize