Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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