ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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