You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize