Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How naked do you want me to be?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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