I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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