So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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