Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize