just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i black out too much to be "responsible"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize