Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize