got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
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You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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