you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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