I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize