he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
as a side note pls kill me
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