Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize