I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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