My brain says no but my pants say off.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize