i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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