White coat. Heels.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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