how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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