honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize