could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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