Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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