This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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