My first STD was from a foam party
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize