I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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