Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
These tits shall not be calmed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize