I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nicole vs. Life
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize