Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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