So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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