She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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