You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize