her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize