I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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